Sunday, March 3, 2013

Writer Anson Cameron's laughable gargle for The Age

Leftie luvvies are known for their deluded rants about conservatives. But a recent piece by writer Anson Cameron really takes the cake.

He, like the rest of the country, knows only too well that Labor is toast. So he imagines what those eeevil right-wingers will be doing in the aftermath of their dark victory:

It will start as a relaxing Christmas for the conservative voices. I imagine Alan Jones lounging poolside being handfed cress sandwiches by a valet carrying a urinal puck in each pocket for ambience. I imagine Bolt in Stubbies and thongs, fussily running a pair of secateurs over his private privet, turning it into a life-size topiary Ayn Rand, calling to the kiddies: ''Come see, come see, young things, daddy's made a herbaceous saint.'' I imagine Albrechtsen with her battery-powered Howard … No! Stop! Suffice to say they will be feeling good.

As Andrew Bolt himself points out, it's amazing that something so puerile could have been published in The Age's opinion section. It shows just how low the standards of Fairfax have become lately.

As well as it being mean-spirited in its tone and imagery, the column's thesis is just plain daft:

For the conservative commentators won't know yet that their zeal is leaching from them over the festive season and flowing across town and up through the soles of the spruikers of the left. They haven't realised that by early 2014, the progressive commentators will be taking energy from an infuriating status quo the conservatives had hitherto got fat on. The foul injustice of having a god-bothering anti-science Tory as PM will make the left's pens golden and their tongues rapiers

Eh? He's basically arguing that lefties will be energized by their time in the wilderness and they'll fight far more eloquently and ferociously as a result.  

But they've been "up against the wall" for pretty much the whole time Gillard's been PM. She just scraped over the line in the first place and everything her government's done since has been a disaster. Although in power, Labor has been on the nose electorally for yonks. So that party's tragic toadies in Artsville and the meeja have been in battle mode for the last coupla years anyway. Has this honed their wit and wisdom any?

Nup. They've just produced countless petty, vindictive dummy spits, much like the piece Cameron himself has penned. If recent history is any guide then in 2014 onwards the lumpen squitterati will spew an even more putrid stream of irrelevant, incoherent vitriol. If their pens appear to be golden it'll be fool's gold, that's for sure.

Also, I love the last line from the paragraph cited above:

The politically disempowered are empowered artistically, and both the polemicist and the poet write better from the underground than the inner sanctum.

That's sooo ironic. He, like so many other pompous, sanctimonious luvvies, is definitely not part of the "underground". Yes, his ilk may be politically disempowered in the grand scheme of things. But in their milieu they're the bloody establishment. Endlessly pampered by credulous child-brained bureaucrats who have access to millions of dollars of taxpayers' money and not one iota of true discernment they are definitely part of the "inner sanctum".

And his silly rant shows just how he got there. Wanna succeed in Artsville? Just write something as vicious as it is infantile about conservatives and the powers that be in the various funding bodies will think you're an absolute legend.

And that, I believe, was Anson's main reason for writing such a silly, nasty column. It was a financial decision more than anything else. He was making sure that the grants will still keep flowing his way in the future.

Hell, he may be a fool, but he's certainly not an idiot.